More proof Hansel = Donny Douche

Click to enlarge


Proof in the pudding!!!

Those tricky bastards in Hollywood had us thinking that Hansel was a made-up character, when the whole time it was actually a depiction of Donavon's try-hard cornhole eating styles!

FUCK YOU HOLLYWOOD!!! DONAVON DESERVES CREDIT FOR YOUR PORTRAYAL OF HIS LIFE AS HANSEL!

Hansel = Donavon Frankenreiter

Ok Donny, we think we might actually be beginning to understand you a little more. You saw Zoolander when it came out and you decided that you wanted to be the modern day real life Hansel.

I hate to tell you though Donny, Zoolander was not a serious movie......it was a comedy. HANSEL IS A JOKE! He's not real. Owen Wilson played the role but he was joking.

Actually, we could have it all wrong....... For all we know the writers were familiar with you and decided to base Hansel's character on YOU buddy. That actually makes so much more sense........the hippy clothes, the pot smoking, the skateboarding and surfing with guitars in your hands, the photo shoots, the hats, the long hair.......that 70's sheik look..............NOW WE GET IT!!!!!

HEY.........It's innnnnnn the computer buddy.......innnnnnnn the computer!!!!!!!

BONIFIED DOUCHEBAG!

Are you fucking kidding us???
Are you trying to show us how many surfboards you have???
Or did you stuble upon a surfboard cemetery???
This is your backyard???
....Or is this your idea of the cutest most original photo shoot ever???

Yeah we figured it was the latter.

Did the idea go something like "Hey guys, lets find as many fucken shitty beat-up retro surfboards as possible and pile them on the ground and take a picture of me posing like I have down syndrome holding a retro skateboard with two hands!"

WHAT A GREAT FUCKEN IDEA DONNY!!!

YOU DID IT!!! What a great photo! And you came out looking just like you wanted - like a fucken homosexual mental patient lost amongst a collection of some of the shittiest surfboards in existence!

Kudos on your choice of t-shirt for this shoot.......V-neck down to your ballsack - NICE!

Honorary Douchebag Mention

Dear Rob,

IS ANYONE HOME???


CUCKOO
Main Entry: ¹cuck·oo
Pronunciation:\ˈkü-(ˌ)kü, ˈku̇-\
Function:noun
Date: 13th century

1: mentally insane, deranged, dumb stupid,
2: deficient in sense or intelligence
3: a silly or slightly crackbrained person